I studied quantum physics back in university
I can still remember my professor said to me
That if you think about it there ain't anything at all
To keep a human being from walking through a wall
Because people are just atoms, which are mostly empty spaces
Just energy from sunlight fixed in arbitrary places
So I walked forward resolutely and pretended not to see
The white expanse of plaster spreading out in front of me
As you can imagine, it wasn't a success
I passed out on the lab floor, my face a bloody mess
I ran the calculations and everything seemed right
But I couldn't find one particle relating mass to light
Deep in my frustration I heard somebody say
Scientists in Switzerland were trying to find a way
So I flew down to Geneva and I took a tour of CERN
But I broke off from the tour group when the leader's back was turned
I ran to the collider, started flipping all the switches
Screaming "Show me what I'm missing, you withholding sons of bitches"
Security was ruthless; they threw me in a cell
The walls were made of cinderblock as far as I could tell
Four or five years later I still hadn't gotten far
When I saw my old professor through the window of a bar
I sat down at his table and he ordered me a beer
He asked about my research and I broke down into tears
I said people are just atoms, but they're still subject to forces
In my case, certain impulses; in your case three divorces
And I'm not your student now and I can tell that you've been drinking
It won't take a quantum physicist to find out what I'm thinking
I got his number after
Though I knew I wouldn't call
He left through the back door
And I left through the wall
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