.​.​.​And Other Disasters: Home Recordings

by Rachel Glassberg

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02:22

credits

released October 18, 2014

All songs and instruments written/performed/recorded by Rachel Glassberg over something like a two-year period.

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Rachel Glassberg Berlin, Germany

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Track Name: Through The Wall
I studied quantum physics back in university
I can still remember my professor said to me
That if you think about it there ain't anything at all
To keep a human being from walking through a wall

Because people are just atoms, which are mostly empty spaces
Just energy from sunlight fixed in arbitrary places
So I walked forward resolutely and pretended not to see
The white expanse of plaster spreading out in front of me

As you can imagine, it wasn't a success
I passed out on the lab floor, my face a bloody mess

I ran the calculations and everything seemed right
But I couldn't find one particle relating mass to light
Deep in my frustration I heard somebody say
Scientists in Switzerland were trying to find a way

So I flew down to Geneva and I took a tour of CERN
But I broke off from the tour group when the leader's back was turned
I ran to the collider, started flipping all the switches
Screaming "Show me what I'm missing, you withholding sons of bitches"

Security was ruthless; they threw me in a cell
The walls were made of cinderblock as far as I could tell

Four or five years later I still hadn't gotten far
When I saw my old professor through the window of a bar
I sat down at his table and he ordered me a beer
He asked about my research and I broke down into tears

I said people are just atoms, but they're still subject to forces
In my case, certain impulses; in your case three divorces
And I'm not your student now and I can tell that you've been drinking
It won't take a quantum physicist to find out what I'm thinking

I got his number after
Though I knew I wouldn't call
He left through the back door
And I left through the wall
Track Name: The Cigarette Song
I read somewhere that loneliness is bad for you as cigarettes
Too much of either one will lead you to an early grave
They'll starve your brain of oxygen and weaken your immune system
And both feel rather freeing till you're suddenly their slave
Both will make your friends not want to stand too close to you
Both can be so suffocating in a crowded room
I hate to admit it but the studies might be right
Baby can you offer me a light?

I read somewhere that loneliness is bad for you as cigarettes
I guess it stands to reason that they'd have the same effects
Both are quite romantic when they're not a long-term habit
And both are often indulged in the moment after sex
And quitting either one is not as easy as you'd think
You inevitably relapse after one too many drinks
Til brimming with self-loathing, you slink off into the night
Baby can you offer me a light?

And the more you try to quit
The more you find you're stuck with it
'Cause friendship can't be found a convenient little patch
The more it seeps into your clothes
The more that everybody knows
You're reaching for a rope and all they throw you is a match

I read somewhere that loneliness is bad for you as cigarettes
'Cause people just like cigarettes are meant to come in packs
And without human company your heart and lungs will atrophy
There ought to be a warning or at least a heavy tax

And if I'm to be ostracised and stigmatised and shamed
And everyone dies anyway, it's probably just the same
I might as well start smoking now, well fuck it, I just might
Baby can you offer me a light?
Track Name: Typhoid Mary
Poor Typhoid Mary
She's done it, she's done it again
Another family
Laid out in hospital beds

The youngest has turned a deathly white
And he probably won't last the night

Poor Typhoid Mary
From kitchen to kitchen she goes
Slicing and dicing
Do you suppose that she knows

The doctors, the lawyers, the New York police
Can't catch this walking disease

She only wanted
To make you a sandwich

Poor Typhoid Mary
They're chasing her, chasing her down
Following bodies
Dropping in town after town

Her conscience is clean, if not her hands
So she's running away from the man

Because when she was little, her mother said listen
Before you leave home, let me pass on this wisdom
America's gonna be cruel to a fat Irish girl

You won't find a job and you won't find romance
But if you can cook, then you might have a chance
So keep stirring those pots, keep on shaking those pans
If you want to be loved in this world

So if you go see her don't take what she offers
Don't even drink if she gives you some water
Only remember she's somebody's daughter
It's not Mary's fault
It's not Mary's fault

She only wanted
To make you a sandwich
She only wanted
To bake you a pie
Just one more sandwich
Then Mary's done
Track Name: Play It Safe Now
(Dead)-eyed plastic bride
(On the corner) by Hasenheide
The varnish on your fingers
Is chipping away
Real live human hair
Imported from god knows where
Better keep an eye on you
Just in case

A five-year-old gave me the code
To take a trip on the Silk Road
You know we got them high-powered hidden browsers
We don't even need to leave our houses
What happened to bloody hands?
What happened to being a man?
It's so safe now
We play it safe now

(Girl) in the gold lame
(Where you going) with that gozleme, eh
Take a chance on an old guy
I'll show you the town
They used to call me Mr. Marshmallow
Cause I'm such a soft sweet fellow
But I won't make no promises
Once the sun goes down

A five-year-old gave me the code
To take a trip on the Silk Road
You know we got them high-powered hidden browsers
We don't even need to leave our houses
What happened to darkened rooms?
What happened to the prostitutes?
It's so safe now
We play it safe now

Mid-life heart attack
Cut your steak and then cut to black
If it could happen to Tony
It could happen to me
And that's the end of my story
No fists, no guns, no glory
Just another ambulance
Down Karl-Marx-Street

Five years ago they lea rned the code
To unleash the fighter drones
Now all they do is click their mouses
Kill us all before we leave our houses
What happened to bloody hands?
What happened to being a man?
It's so safe now
We play it safe now